Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Grandpa had a ritual he looked forward to every Sunday morning.
A CAR RIDE WITH GRANDPA
He would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time.
Just he and his little granddaughter.
On one particular Sunday, however, he had a very bad cold and didn't feel like getting out of bed at all.
Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.
Upon their return, the little girl anxiously ran up stairs to see her grandfather.
'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'
Oh, yes,Grandpa,' the girl replied, 'and do you know what?
We didn't see one dumb bastard or stupid shithead anywhere we went today!'
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
length looking for a seat..
There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed, middle-aged, French
woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular,"Americans are so rude.My little Fifi is using that seat.
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the o nly seat availablewas under that dog.
"Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."
She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little
dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honor! Put this American in
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seemto have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road.
And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window."
Friday, August 7, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt-out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans.
The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products, that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable.
About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! The top 10 were:
10. Viagra, Whaazzzz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, like a rock !
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6 Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!
And the unanimous number one slogan:
1.This is your peepee. This is your peepee on drugs.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher.
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?"
Monday, July 13, 2009