Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Dear Abby

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont , Texas , who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV Virus. My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas .

I have two brothers: One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview . She is a part- time "working girl".

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her Into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is an Obama supporter?


Worried About My Reputation

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Friday, August 6, 2010

Don't mess with Senior Citizens

My dad and mom were traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George .
Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired
to continue, and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep
for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they checked out fourhours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
Dad explode and demanded to know why the charge is so high. He told the
clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth
$350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells them that $350.00 is the'standard rate'.
Dad insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has
an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available
for us to use.'But we didn't use them," dad said.''Well, they are here,
and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that they could also have taken in one of the shows
for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New
York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," dad said. "Well, we have them,
and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, he replied,"But we didn'tuse it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually they gave up and agreed to pay.

Dad wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. "But sir, this
cheque is only made out for $50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you
$300.00 for sleeping with my wife," dad replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
Dad said, "Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have."

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Senior Center

Photo taken at the Senior Center in Boca Raton Fl.
The Course was "How to prevent Alzheimer's"
The Project of the Day was "Keep your mind working. Try to create something from memory."